5 Point Plan for Campus Band Success

  1. Ignore the "Originality" section. Don't use the same song titles as the ones you rip off, and everything will be peachy creamy. Hope no-one notices that you have the same haircut as your idols.
  2. Learn to play your instrument properly - to the extent that you probably give a damn what "Dorian mode" actually means. Molasses were soulless rubbish. Edward Van Halen is an uber-genius. Honest.
  3. Act like you actually believe your some kind of star, and not an art student working towards a useless piece of $10000 paper. Fuckin' huge glam-rock jumps. Sunglasses. On cloudy days. Indoors. Rockin'.
  4. Encourage friends to fuck up anyone your competing against. What band in their right mind wouldn't want a random clueless shmuck for a drummer. If it don't sound like the JJJ band du jour, it's not a real band anyhoo. Right?
  5. Be wacky. Everyone loves wackiness. Gimmee Gimmee Coco Pops. Hur Hur Hur Hur.

Get on Back!