Name: Paul Stanley Thomas - Instrumental Version -
Nickname: Biffer
Band Position: Whiner
Duties: Forgetting Basslines, Being Out
Temperament: None
Future Direction: North
Favourite 'Hey Hey' Personality: Russell Gilbert
Quote: I think my pants are on backwards...

Name: Joel Andrew Thomas - Instrumental Version -
Nickname: Macca
Band Position: Greek
Duties: Practice Enforcer, Orange Fur Stuffer Upper
Temperament: Lacking, some improvement
Future Direction: Sepultura Cover Band
Favourite 'Hey Hey' Personality: Molly Meldrum
Quote: Poo... Your... Pants !!!!

Name: Brett Roy Pemberton - Instrumental Version -
Nickname: Frankie
Band Position: Left Handed
Duties: Assistant Orange Fur Stuffer Upper, Not Singing
Temperament: Shop Soiled... 10% off
Future Direction: Home
Favourite 'Hey Hey' Personality: Daggie Somers
Quote: Has anyone seen where I left my pants ?

Name: James Raymond Findlay - Instrumental Version -
Nickname: Boof
Band Position: Horizontal
Duties: Yelling, Studying, Being Shy
Temperament: Unstable
Future Direction: Bed
Favourite 'Hey Hey' Personality: Jon Blackman
Quote: Speak up, I'm not wearing any pants.